Are You An Okie? Okey-Dokey!

Hi Readers — If any of you are Free-Ranging in southwest Oklahoma (and I know you’re out there!) please drop an email to reporter Billie Hill — bhill@lawton-constitution.com . She’s looking for your stories to write about the Free-Range idea, locally. Thanks! — L

And While We’re on the Subject of Dangerous Toys: Dan Akroyd!

Oh I am so glad a reader named Abe sent this in. A Saturday Night Live classic:

http://bit.ly/4Egetr

Do We Really Have To Worry About Kids Impaling Themselves on Batman Dolls?

That, my friends, is the question I ask today in my alternate life on ParentDish.com. I am really getting sick of all the warnings about dangerous toys.

On a very related note: Today there was a report about all the hideous dangers of holiday  ornaments. I agree: You probably don’t want to put a hand-blown crystal ball from Bavaria in the crib next to the toy hammer.  But please. The report  mentions 76 Xmas-occasioned hospital visits over the course of 13 years, or about 7 a year.

Maybe while we’re at it we should start issuing  warnings about holidays requiring dress shoes, because of the danger of tripping over untied laces. Or holidays where the family gathers together in a single room,  as overcrowding on the couch could cause someone to slide off.  And let’s not forget the very real dangers of candy canes!

There must be some very real dangers of candy canes, right? — Lenore

If a Man Photographs Your Kid with Santa Should We Arrest Him?

Hi Readers — Here’s the latest story of a guy, a camera, a warm little Santa scene at the mall…and an arrest. Apparently Scott Rensberger, an award-winning news photographer who has covered conflicts as far away as Bosnia, was at his local mall in West Virginia with the camera he always carries with him. He snapped some pix of Santa and the choir, whereupon a couple of dads insisted he delete the photos because their kids were in them, which he did.

This already gets my goat. (Or reindeer, perhaps.) Why do dads think they are being “safe” and “smart” when they insist on no photos of their kids — in group shots, not less? What nefarious scheme do they imagine those fully clothed photos are going to be used for? Why are we so paranoid and self-righteous all the time when it comes to our kids?

Anyway, after doing some shopping,  Scott was back near Santa’s village, whereupon two of the dads from before pointed to him out to a cop. The cop approached and, according to Scott,  manhandled him. Scott tried to take his picture and ended up in a holding cell.

Enough of this kind of proactive “safety”! We are so worried that all men are perverts and that all children are about to be exploited, that we have lost our  minds.

Kids are part of the world. Taking their pictures is not taking their souls —  I though we established that a while ago. This season, when it comes to fearing for our children every second of every day, even when they’re standing a few feet away from us at the mall,  let’s do like the temperature and CHILL! — Lenore

One (Frustrating, Makes Me Want to Yank My Hair Out) Conversation At A Time

Hi Readers — Here’s a letter I got yesterday. It hit me in the gut because this woman just went through the same process I think a lot of us go through daily: Trying to deal, calmly, with the knee-jerk response of, “That’s too dangerous!” to any suggestion that kids can do anything on their own.  Read it and you’ll probably find yourselves nodding along. (Or “Grrrrrr”ing along, in my case. How very mature!)

Dear Free-Range Kids: I live in Vermont. Our region is rather rural and, in general, considered “much safer” than a lot of places. Yesterday, I was watching my children’s swimming lesson (indoor pool!), when the woman next to me struck up a conversation. She was there for her grandson’s swim lesson, and she began to wax nostalgic about her own childhood and early swimming experiences.

She used to walk with other children a mile or so to a nearby lake to go swimming. She remembers this very clearly from about age eight or so. She said to me, “Of course, you would never let kids do that today.” After a beat, and thinking of Free-Range Kids, I asked, “Why not?” She seemed puzzled by the question. So, I clarified, “Why wouldn’t you let kids walk to the lake today?”  She looked at me like I was just a little crazy, honestly. She asked, incredulously, “Let eight-year-olds walk a couple miles alone?!?”

I told her about your book and website. I don’t know if I made an impression. And yet, as I mentioned the saga about the middle school kids who were not allowed to ride bikes to school, she seemed to be contemplating the matter. Is this what it means to proselytize? – Kimberly Barnhart

Hi Kim: Yes, in the nicest sense. Go forth and spread the word! Or at least get folks asking themselves where all their fear comes from? Why do they think their otherwise wonderful children (and grandchildren) are so much more pathetic and helpless than they were? — Lenore

Outrage of the Week: Mom Who Let Kids Play Outside Threatened by Cops

Hi Readers! Let’s give this woman some good ideas. She needs them — as do we all!

Dear Free-Range Kids: My name is Shaylene Haswarey, and I want to share a story with you today.

This morning, my doorbell rang, and two police officers were present.  They asked me if I am the mother of my children, and I said yes.  They said someone called them because my three oldest kids (ages 9, 7, and 6) were walking around our GATED town-house complex, unattended. I said, “They found a cat, and I let them go out and feed it.”

The officer said that he’d been called by a concerned neighbor who’d added that yesterday he’d seen my oldest child  outside in his pajamas in the rain. (My son was wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt.)

I told the officer I am from Idaho, and kids play outside like this all the time.  He said my kids are too young to be out,  because we do not have a yard, and this is a complex.  He also told me there are predators around here.  He finally told me if I let my kids out again he will have to call social services because I am endangering my children! What is wrong with this picture???

1.  Is it against the law to go out in the rain in your pajamas?
2.  My kids know how to watch for cars.  They were following the cat and feeding it.
3.  There are NO predators in my neighborhood. I looked on Megan’s Law, and there are only 6 in our whole city, and none are in my neighborhood.  I live in Aliso Viejo, CA.  Aliso Viejo is a small city in between Irvine and Mission Viejo.  These cities rank #1 by the FBI for the safest cities in America with a pop. of 100,000+.  Therefore, Aliso Viejo is safer than the city I grew up in in Idaho!

After the police officer asked for me and my husband’s name and birthdates, I freaked out!  I am NOT going to let my kids go outside without me again!  I don’t want social services knocking on my door.  What do you think I should do if anything, about this?  My husband’s family is from India.  They have a big house there.  I am thinking of going to their village this September and staying there for a few months, so my kids can be normal kids. — Shaylene

Dear Shaylene: Isn’t it incredible that you are living the “American Dream” — a house, four kids, nice town — and longing for the kind of childhood a kid can get in a much less affluent country? Meantime, I put this question to readers: What can this mom do to prove to the cop that she’s not off base? How can we she convince him (and other cops and other neighbors) that being outside is normal and healthy for kids? Should we all call the police department there? Start a petition? Any ideas? — Lenore

Thought For The Day

From a reader named Delicate Flower:

“The closest my kid has ever come to losing a finger in the Maclaren was while I was trying to install the stupid hinge covers.”

Inspiring Video!

Hi Readers! Even as the school board in Saratoga grudgingly allows kids to bike to middle school if they follow a bunch of rules, a bunch of kids in Orlando, Florida just decided: Let’s ride!

Here’s their story and a great video of them — especially if you like Bob Dylan soudntracks. As the accompanying article says, “The bike bus isn’t something that was initiated by grown-ups; it was conceived and executed by the kids. It’s a powerful demonstration of the positive influence that young people can have on each other. Maybe they’ll influence some adults too.”

Riding bikes to school has become the cool thing to do — not to mention fun. It’s like a caravan: kids can join as they see the group go by. Ride on! — Lenore  (who thanks Sharon Wynne of the St. Petersburg Times and Tampa Bay Online for sending it in)

Give the Gift That Keeps On Giving (Hint: Not the Bratz Kids Snap-On Swimming Mermaid)

Hey folks — swing over to ParentDish, my new gig, if you want to read, “The Greatest Gift of the Season: A Free-Range Childhood.” And happy holidays, while we’re at it! — Lenore

Overprotecting Gone Mad: Kids Finally Allowed to Bike to School, BUT…..

Hi Readers! Remember that case  in Saratoga, New York, where a sixth (now seventh) grader wanted to ride his bike to his school — with his mom, even! — but the district forbade it?

Well guess what? The district poobahs have now “backpedaled,” as this clever Times Union article put it. But they did it in a way that makes us convinced they still have their heads down where most of us have our bike seats. Listen to the rules kids must obey (or else!) if they want to ride to school:

“…under the new rules, students and parents must sign a safety agreement and registration form. Once on school property, students are required to walk their bikes on approved access routes, store and lock them in racks provided by the district and display identification tags. The district also calls for parents or guardians to accompany student cyclists on its properties, and for both to wear helmets.

The parents have to walk their middle schoolers and their bikes once on school property? I can’t even walk within a mile of my kids’ middle school when they’re around. They’d die of embarrassment. This is treating adolescents like three-year-olds!

As Kaddo Marino, the gutsy mom who has been fighting the school district, put it:

“These regulations appear to be just another obstruction to a parents’ freedom, and if challenged, probably could not be supported,” she said. “When I was first informed that bike racks will be provided, I was pleased, but that feeling quickly diminished when I heard a list of requirements that the district is imposing on those students and families who choose a more healthy, environmentally friendly mode of transportation.”

Why would a school want its kids to never get off their duffs? What kind of “safety” is it providing, if the kids are going to grow up without using their muscles, without having adventures, without learning a sense of direction and self-reliance? How safe is a human blimp choking in a smog-filled city?

And since when does a citizen of the Free World have to fill out PAPERWORK to get on his bike and ride to school? — Lenore