Hi Folks and look! It’s the Itzbeen Baby Care Timer!
How long has it been since you changed your baby? Don’t go by smell or wailing — so old hat. Simply check your batttery operated, pocket-size “Itzbeen.” It’ll tell you how long!
Speaking of which: How long since you fed the little bugger? Don’t listen for hunger cries. Don’t try to think back several whole hours. What are you, some kind of genius freak? Check a piece of technology instead! Surely you can find your Iztbeen. It’s right…um…well, I thought it was right by the pacifier. Wait. Where’s the pacifier? Come to think of it, where’s Zoe?
Gee, this Itzbeen sure is helpful and to think, for just $24.99 we can now cede all parental instincts and obligations to a thingy! How did 200,000 years of homo sapiens struggle along without it?
Oh wait! I remember! We used our eyes, ears, hearts, brains and common sense!
How quaint. — Lenore