Why We Love The Onion, Parts 84,391 and 84,392

It’s because of stories like this: “Nation’s Strangers Decry Negative Portrayal Among Children.”

And video news reports like this one: “Missing Girl Probably Raped.”

How do they nail it again and again? Anyway, if you’re easily offended, skip these. If not — enjoy!  Lenore

P.S. This classic just in! Sent by a reader:  “More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed with Youthful Tendency Disorder.”

13 Responses

  1. It’s important to note that the possible victim in the video was blond and white. Insuring good media coverage.

  2. i love satire, i like the onion

    i’m not easily offended

    i’m not offended now

    the video clip misses the mark for satire – it’s too heavy – satire relies on sleight of hand, subtlety – it would have been funnier if the on-scene guy were out of control with the wild stories, and the tv news anchor were understated

  3. Ha! That’s coincidence…

    I love The Onion and was going to send you this link: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/fun_toy_banned_because_of_three

    As ever, a bit close to the knuckle, but very funny – how often do we see people react this way to (unfortunate, but thankfully very rare) accidents?

    SC

  4. Thanks for reminding me of my favorite onion article, which I’m sure readers of this blog would enjoy:
    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/more_u_s_children_being_diagnosed

  5. Wonderful articles! My kids have long struggled with YTD.

  6. We love the Onion! They are the best.

  7. C came home from preschool a couple days ago with a “STRANGER DANGER” coloring sheet provided by our local Exchange Club. Complete with an adult, hiding behind a tree, with candy sticks behind his back, as an innocent little girl walks by.

    Our conversation went something like this-
    “Who is that guy?”
    “A stranger- see, he has candy!”
    “What is a stranger?”
    “A bad villian who gives you candy before stealing you.”
    “What is the little girl doing?”
    “She’s gonna beat him up! See! Pow pow” *punches paper*

    We then discussed that if he is ever lost he needs to find an adult and ask for help finding his family. The coloring page is now at the recycling center, and a letter has been drafted requesting he not participate in future stranger danger curriculum with this statement attached http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/NewsEventServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2034 .

  8. The Onion is brillant. I LOVE the picture of the ubiquitous white van…..

  9. That video still made me really anxious as I guffawed.

  10. Nicole,
    Thanks for link to NCMEC statement. Started reading it and was going well untill this paragraph and it’s final few words…
    “When we tell children to “never talk to strangers,” we have effectively eliminated a key source of help for them if they are in trouble. If they’re lost they may be surrounded by many “strangers” who could conceivably help them if they would only ask for it. Since we know parents and guardians can’t be with their children every second of the day, we need to give children “safety nets” of people they can go to if they need help. Those individuals may include uniformed law-enforcement or security officers; a store salesperson with a nametag; the person in an information booth at a mall or other public venue; or a mother with children.”
    AAAAHHRRRGGG!!!!!
    Still, overall, better than nothing.

  11. I just tried to submit a link to a humor blog, but my post didn’t show up. Does WordPress ban certain sites? If this posts we’ll know it’s the site and not me.

  12. Well, Ok. Now we know. If you love The Onion, you’ll love this WordPress banned site. Please note that it is not for the easily offended. The comments from people who do not realize that it is satire are almost as funny as the blog.

    Google this with quotation marks: “Jocelyn’s Corner” “Blame the teachers”

  13. “…dressed in his usual outfit of trench coat, gray slacks and colorful baseball cap..” Made me spit out my drink. That’s some good stuff.

    The video was hilarious but it felt skeevy (is that a word?) to be laughing at it. I loved the scroll on the bottom, “China recalls thousands of faulty Chinese-Americans” I think that was funnier than the whole video.

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