Hats Off (Per Usual) To The Onion!

Thank you, Onion, for your invaluable perspective: Increasing Number of Parents Opting to Have Children School-Homed.

28 Responses

  1. It’s scary just how accurate The Onion is this time for sure! And to tell you the truth, sometimes I worry about these kids not learning these life skills at home for sure.


  2. The last line is a howler. But I’m almost surprised this isn’t a real story — after all, people who work in schools have to have clearances. Parents and siblings (gasp, shudder) can be around kids WITHOUT CLEARANCES!

  3. Where do I sign up???

  4. Whats sad – is I’ve actually heard some of these lines from parents . . . .

  5. Throughout history, often the best reporting of the news or insight into any topic comes from the comedians and entertainers. We also get the worst of a story when they are more interested in pushing an agenda. No names since that would depend on what your own viewpoint is as to who distorts more. FRK can be called anti-agenda in that it promotes common sense over rhetoric.

  6. Pebblekeeper: What’s sadder is that I’ve heard this sort of thing from “professional educators”.

  7. Look what I found this morning! Thank goodness there are still people out there that believe our communities should be more free-range friendly.

  8. We’re ahead of the game across the pond. We’ve known about the value of school-homing for centuries – just ask Old Etonians Princes William and Harry, and countless Prime Ministers.

  9. I loved this line!
    “The terrifying reality we’re facing is that the worst-equipped people you could possibly imagine may actually be forced to take care of their children,”
    It’s how society makes every parent feel when it comes to their kids, whether it’s baby safety equipment (it’s a little sad that being a baby “requires” more safety equipment than a lot of known dangerous occupations) socks in the middle of summer or the pedophile around the corner, it’s like every “authority” and “expert” wants us to think we’re incapable of raising our own kids!

  10. I have 3 yr-old students who are in school from 8am to 6pm. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the truth behind this article.

  11. Fengru —

    I don’t know what’s more sad: the fact that there is such a book, or that it’s sold out…

  12. That is so sad and so funny too and then it’s sad again!!! What the hell are we doing???

  13. Love The Onion!

    How sad for those poor 3 yo’s, montessori.

  14. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this. It seems so outlandish but what do I know? We HOMEschool and we love Free Range Kids.

  15. “Most said that an alarming number of legal guardians such as themselves lack the most basic common sense required to give children the type of instruction they need during crucial developmental years.”

    They do kinda have a point there, though. There is an alarming number of people having kids that shouldn’t even be allowed to raise a hamster, let alone a child.

  16. Funny-but true unfortunately.

  17. The last live says it best. From school homed to prison homed. If it didn’t have such a ring of truth it would be funny.

  18. The Onion – the only source of information you can trust! Loved the comment from England – from what I’ve read and heard, Winston Churchill’s great toast to the traditions of the Royal Navy (Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash!) also applies to English boarding schools.

  19. *wince* Too uncomfortably close totrue to be really funny, but thanks for pointing it out.

  20. The Onion is great. Unfortunately, throughout time various governments and their great educators (including ours) have had this in mind. Anyone interested in learning more about it should read John Taylor Gatto’s “The Underground History of American Education.”

  21. Fantastic book, Library Momma.

  22. When I first left my abusive now-ex-husband, I got a full-time job outside of the home as an editor for state teacher certification exams used all over the country. That meant putting my 3 children in child care from 7:30 am to 6 pm. I stopped nursing my 2 year old, stopped home schooling my 5 and 7 year old girls. I sat in a beige cubicle, dealing with inefficient nonsensical bureaucracy, missing my babies, and in tears from the nightmare of it. Each day of dealing with public school education caused me to feel more strongly that I should get back to homeschooling.

    Finally I had enough and opened a home child care business. That pays extremely poorly (less than minimum wage in western Mass.) but at least I’m home with my children. I am now building another business that will bring me and my kids time and money together so that I can quit working as a child care provider and get back to homeschooling and travel around the world with my kids.

    I just don’t understand why people choose to “School-home” but that is their choice.

  23. Hilarious. The Onion nails it again.

  24. On the topic of school-homing: several Israeli friends over the years have mentioned (and I’ve read fleeting references to this) that in the 40s and 50s some of the more isolated kibutzes practiced creche child-raising. Several members of the community would care for and educate the all the kids in a group environment 24/ 7, while the parents would be equally committed to other community projects (agriculture, irrigation, defense, etc.) and would often not see their kids between Sabbath meals. Oddly, most of the references I’ve seen to “old-fashioned kibutznicks” have been in reference to the Israeli military, because the approach turned out extremely good soldiers who had been trained since infancy to focus on the group over the self. However, it also produced adults who were a bit short (ahem) on the sensitive, nurturing side.

  25. Yeah, crystalblue, like homeschoolers aren’t worthy of their share of ridicule as well, particulary in the self-righteousness arena.

  26. I don’t see how working to get back to a way of life one believes in is self-righteousness. Or were you addressing homeschoolers at large?

  27. guess what! not all homeschoolers are freaky-wierd people. just letting ya’ know. one of the reasons we homeschool in my family is so that our kids have more options to be free-range. our schools are so inundated with rules and supervision that the kids cant even pee by themselves. when someone sees a kid playing outside without a parent, they call the cops.

    i totally get the humor in this onion article, and even laughed a bit. but you might find that many homeschoolers are not motivated by what you think.

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