Outrage of the Nanosecond: Stop That Egg!

Hi Readers — Just because it’s an outrage kind of day, here’s another: A woman was detained at the Canadian border because she was bringing in a Kinder Surprise Egg. You know — the chocolate candy with a prize inside. The problem? That prize presents a choking hazard!

The BIGGER problem? A law equating candy with crystal meth! Of COURSE there is a prize inside. That is why people BUY them.  The adults know it’s there. The KIDS know it’s there. That is why the word “KINDER” as in “KINDERGARTEN” is featured rather prominently in the candy’s name. What next? A ban on Cracker Jacks? After all, kids COULD think the prize was a piece of popcorn!

Anyway, I automatically knew I’d love this story because it uses the word “kerfuffle” in the first graph. So here it is! Have a kerfuffle-free day! L.

God, No! Help! Get That Thing Away From Us, You Darn Canadians!

Hey up there! What are you trying to do to us Americans? Spread mayhem and terror with Kinder Surprise candy? Sure looks that way to us. For years you’ve been blithely manufacturing chocolate eggs filled with toys as if you’ve never even HEARD the word, “Litigation.”

Fortunately, according to this news report, this year United States border patrols are keeping a keen eye out for handheld nuclear devices…oh wait. No. For Kinder Surprise Eggs, which underground cells of aunts, uncles and family friends seem determined to smuggle into our country.

Not so fast, Canada! Do we send our toxic pop culture into YOUR country? Don’t answer that. Just tell us: Why are you doing this to US?

Remember, we’re onto you. If so much as one Kinder Surprise Egg shows up under some kid’s tree, the chocolate is on your hands. — Lenore