Hey Kids, It’s Fireworks Time! Sort Of. Inside. On a Screen.

Hi Readers! In one English town, outdoor fireworks have been deemed too “dangerous” (and chilly) for kids to enjoy. So now the fireworks are inside, reports the Small World News Service:

Instead of wrapping up warm to enjoy the bangs of fireworks around 100 youngsters will sit inside watching images on a projector screen.

The virtual fireworks are accompanied by sounds of explosions, including ‘bangs’, ‘whistles’ and ‘crackles’ recorded from outdoor displays.

Childrens groups have accused the event’s organisers of subscribing to ”cotton wool culture” and killing off an important British tradition.

But organisers hailed their indoor bonfire night as ‘safer’ than big outdoor events, which must meet stringent council health and safety regulations.

How long before kids come inside after school to watch videos of other children playing in the park? Hey — it’s ALMOST the same thing. And it’s so safe! — Lenore

Parents Fear Abductions More than Kids’ Actual Health

Hi Readers — Here’s a study done in England that says 30% of parents fear for their kids being kidnapped — a 1 in 1 million chance — versus the tiny number (1 in 20) who fear “severe health problems” for their kids in the future, brought on by a sedentary and possibly overweight life. A life that begins in childhood, with the kids driven to school and stowed indoors the rest of the time, out of…fear.  The article says those “severe health problems” have a 1 in 3 chance of occurring.

Slightly off-kilter fears, wouldn’t you say? — Lenore