Outrage of the Week: 6-year-old Suspended for Singing “I’m Sexy & I Know It”

Hi Readers — Feeling sluggish? You can listen to the song below OR just read this piece about a boy in Denver who told a fellow first-grader, “I’m Sexy and I Know It.”

The brilliant school administrators defined this as “unwelcome sexual advance” and promptly suspended the boy for three days. It’s enough to make you bang your iPad over your head (pointless though that would be). (Pricey, too.) (And need I mention: painful.) BUT —  there’s a silver lining!

This happened in Colorado, the state where the Columbine massacre occurred. The state that went almost understandably crazy with “closing the barn door after the cows (horses?) got out” legislation, making Zero Tolerance its credo.

And now, thanks to ridiculous situations like the 6-year-old’s, the state is reconsidering its regulations. Why? Because (everybody sing along): They’re silly and they know it. – L

Free-Range Pixar!

Hi Folks! I loved this letter sent in by Emily Guy Birken, who describes herself as a stay-at-home-mom and a freelance writer in Lafayette, Indiana.  She blogs about her life with her rambunctious toddler at http://sahmnambulist.blogspot.com.

 

Dear Free-Range Kids: Your post  about “How to Spot a Predator” reminded me of something I noticed recently when watching some of my son’s favorite movies with him.  It seems to me that Pixar has quite the Free-Range attitude.  The predator post reminded me of the moment in The Incredibles, when the mom tells her kids that there are bad guys who want to hurt them, and then she tells them exactly how to handle that situation, rather than lying to them or abandoning her plans to save her husband so she can protect her kids from those bad guys.  She trusted her kids to be smart and talented enough to handle something, should it happen.

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Some other things I’ve noticed from Pixar:

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Finding Nemo is pretty overtly free range, as Marlin loses Nemo in the first place because he’s too overprotective and Nemo wants to prove that he’s capable.  And Nemo and Marlin both learn how to be more self reliant and able to handle uncertainty through their adventures.

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Wall*e is all about what happens to human beings when decisions are taken out of their hands.  All the humans on the Axiom have become fat and incapable of regular movement because they’ve allowed machines to do their thinking (and doing) for them.

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Up features a little boy who seeks out the company of an older man, to both of their benefits.

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Monsters, Inc. explains that a child’s laughter is more powerful than her screams–which to me means we should empower our children to enjoy their childhoods, and not be frightened of every possibility.

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I don’t know if you have Pixar fans in your family [Lenore here: All 4 of us!], but with my little 3-D animation lover at home, I’ve been noticing that I not only enjoy the stories and animation in his favorite films, I also love the messages he’s soaking up when he watches them.

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Just thought I’d share… Emily

2-year-old Bikes 3 Miles to Visit Sick Grandma!

Okay, you know I’m not advocating that other kids follow in this tyke’s bike-steps, but how cool that a 2-year-old in German managed to zoom three miles to visit his ailing grandma! In stocking feet! Because he was worried!

Moral? Never underestimate the power of a toddler. (Or love!) – L

“How to Spot a Predator” — Really?

Hi Readers — Still trying to figure out what part of this Circle of Moms post,  “How to Spot a Child Predator”  irks me the most. It’s by a lady who was at a cafe and heard a man asking two third grade boys questions like, “What’s your favorite subject?” and “Who do you want to marry when you grow up?” He also asked them some math problems, so the lady immediately “understood” what she was hearing:

…like a thunderbolt, it hits me! Those boys are being groomed.

How exactly did she know he was up to no good? She trusted her gut. And now she wants the rest of us to trust it, too:

I wrote this so you’d read about the types of questions a potential predator uses so you can prepare your kids.

Please don’t scare your kids, but do talk to them. Use these, or examples like the, so your kids know what bad strangers ask .

…Except that there is no evidence whatsoever that this was a “bad stranger,”  or that these are the type of questions a bad stranger would ask! It’s like saying, “I would have been raped by the man in the grocery store  today if I hadn’t realized what he was up to! So I’m alerting the rest of you: If a man ever asks, ‘Do you know what aisle the paper towels are in?’ RUN! He is a bad stranger. Don’t thank me — I’m just trying to help!”

Uh…thanks. But no thanks. – L.

How can you tell if a man is a predator? Easy! If he’s male and nice to kids — he is!

Third Annual “TAKE OUR CHILDREN TO THE PARK…AND LEAVE THEM THERE DAY” coming up SAT., MAY 19!

Hi Folks! As our annual “Take Our Children to the Park…And Leave Them There Day” draws nigh (does “nigh” ever get used without the verb draw?), here’s a lovely piece about why it is GREAT for kids to get out and play, on their own, without a coach, program or parents to organize (or limit!) them.

The idea of the holiday is simple: We take our kids, age 7 or 8 and up, to the local park at 10 a.m. That way, they meet up with other kids from the neighborhood. We wave goodbye and the kids are on their own to come up with something to do. Boredom works in their favor — eventually they start playing because NOT playing is so painfully dull. By the time they’re through — it could be half an hour or half a day later — chances are they’ll want to do it again. And so Sunday becomes “Our kids are going to the park on their own” day, as do  most days thereafter!

If you’ve got younger kids — great. Go to the park and witness what your kids will be able to do in only a few years. Meantime, you’re there on the bench, creating the kind of community that reassures the parents waving their older kids goodbye.

SPREAD THE WORD!

The idea is not radical. It’s simply a way to “re-seed” the all-too-empty playgrounds and parks with children. There’s no reason kids can’t play on their own. Crime is down since when we parents were kids. Diabetes and obesity — the twin scourges of sitting inside — are up. What’s more, it is SAFER for kids to play than not to play, and this study (if you need to wave one around) says that letting kids play UNSUPERVISED is one of the best things a parent can do for a child:

Professor Roger Mackett, who led the study, said: “Allowing children to leave the house without an accompanying adult has significant benefits.

“The health benefits are clear, but without action the less tangible benefits of increased independence and self-reliance will be lost.

“That may be a very great loss with many implications.”

Fight the fear that has kept kids indoors or only in supervised programs. Go forth to Facebook and Twitter and the PTA to spread the word about Take Our Children to the Park… and Leave Them There Day!  And let us know if you get some traction! –  L

Wow! 7th Grader Kidnapped & Released, CONTINUES TO WALK TO SCHOOL!

Readers — Maybe it’s Malaysia that is the land of the free and the home of the brave. This 7th grade boy, Nayati, sure embodies all that — along with a shining optimism.

The story (as far as I know) is this: Nayati was recently kidnapped by two men and held for six days, then somehow (I have no idea how) returned to his home and his community. His school called a special assembly and unveiled the surprise guests to the kids: The boy and his parents! Then, according to the blog Global  Anni, run by an ex-pat teacher in Kuala Lumpur:

Well the standing ovations and tears would not stop! He came down off the stage and walked up the theater steps into the audience and hugged all his classmates, teachers and parents. He then walked down the row of seats where the 7^thgraders were sitting and took a seat among his peers. Many of us have still not stopped sobbing.

When the assembly was dismissed, Nayati walked to our breezeway and continued to hug and thank everyone. His father tweeted that Nayati had decided to walk home from school. Holding his friends’ hands he walked right past the place he had been abducted 6 days earlier and went home to hang out with his buddies.

I’m cheering, too. What a boy, what an outlook. And what  a great school that allows him to continue being a confident kid! — L.

Nayati and friends.

Help Needed: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Girl to Play Outside EVER

Hi from Austraia, mates! About to embark on a rather long trip home. (But I sure loved it here!) In the meantime, please help this mom. – L

Dear Free-Range Kids: So, this really plays into a question/problem I’ve been having. I want to have my daughter be more Free-Range/independent. She just turned 5 this month. I remember at her age being allowed to go outside to play and roam a fairly large area. But my daughter has yet to experience that. Partly because there are no other kids about her age outside, she’s not interested and I don’t blame her. However when I asked my husband at what age he’d let her go to the park by herself he basically said never. He knew a girl who said that at age 12 she was at a park in a tree and some guy came and raped her. He wants to prevent this happening for our little girl by hovering. We live in a very safe area but he is still uncomfortable. What do you say to someone like this?

Lenore here: Well, what I SAY is what I always say: In New York City there was a child who was killed by a falling tree branch. Does that mean we should never let our children walk under trees anymore? We don’t make our kids safer when we make our decisions based on rare and random events. 

I also generally say: More children are killed and injured in car accidents than are hurt or killed by strangers. So do you neven intend to let your daughter ride in a car?

BUT from what I saw in filming my World’s Worst Mom (a.k.a. World’s Worst Mum, a.k.a. Bubble Wrap Kids) show, was that the thing that REALLY changed nervous parents was when I physically made them stay home while I took the kids out and let them DO something on their own. When I let them set up a lemonade stand down the street, out of sight of their worried mom. Or when I let them play in the woods, or go to the playground, or go on an overnight. I’d videotape them for a bit and then let them actually BE on their own. But in the meantime, I’d bring that video back to the parents. And when they saw with their own eyes how HAPPY their kids were and how normal and ridiculously NON-TERRIFYING the whole scene was — how it reminded them of their OWN childhoods — in 12 out of 13 episodes, the parents changed. They couldn’t help themselves. They felt the proverbial pride and joy at watching their kids live in and love the world. So to this mom I’d say: Try letting your child have a little time on her own, even in the front yard. Then come up with some way for your husband to observe it. It could do the trick. And hopefully the readers here will have some great ideas, too! – L.